Part Two: Clara’s Delivery Story

Eli comforting me during a contraction in the birth tub.

The team was fading, before I knew the clock displayed 2AM. I caught a few Zs alongside Eli in our own bed. Ann came in at intervals to check vitals. Steady contractions woke me up a little after 4AM. I blinked a few times, rolled out of bed with a groan, waddled to the birth throne (aka the toilet) and labored there until Eli and I migrated to the office. The living room was occupied by Neva, Colleen, Alyssa and Pal all resting. Sleepovers while in labor may lack toe nail painting and giggling about boys but made up in feeling loved and completely comfortable during my most vulnerable time. In-between may waddles back to the birthing throne, Eli took the role of re-fueling master and gave me snacks and sips of water and coconut juice. The food was helpful but his support was where I got my real power.

Back into the birthing tub around 6AM. Cat cow, squats and leaning on walls is great and all but the tub is fantastic. The caution was still in my midwives’ eyes: my water had been broken for over twelve hours and, to be on the safe side, she started an IV with antibiotics. With each contraction I couldn’t help my focus from diving inward. I found that the early warning of an impending contraction meant I should scoot and get into position. Lounging in the tub was tempting, a mirage of the beach, sitting in a warm tide pool came into my mind. There were other times the contractions seemed to will my body into a position. I would curl my body into the tub, sliding into a modified child’s pose, rocking and adding a pelvic rock to each breath. Then there were breaks. One break opened the flood gate of joyful tears from all in the room listening and singing along to Wonder by Natalie Merchant.

This song touches my soul, welcomes me to sing along, 

has me hold my daughter close and let joyful tears flow . 

Then my midwife said it… “Maybe we should consider going to the hospital and getting an epidural.” Hearing this felt a bit like just missing being in a serious car accident. With Ann’s experience catching thousands of babies, she was giving me a verbal confirmation to what I had already seen in her eyes. Things were not going as planned. Maybe I had read too much, but I wasn't willing to let my novice knowledge be an excuse for signing up for an epidural. I didn't want this tiny person inside me to get those kinds of drugs in her system. With a hit to the gut of discouragement, I swallowed the thought and used it as fuel to get through the next rounds of contractions and other progress encouraging tricks Ann and Neva had me try.

May 5th has passed and May 6th was heading towards sunset. There were a few last ditch efforts. Neva and Ann went into town and returned with milkshakes. I sucked down a castor oil tainted shake and went through a series of other tricks to see if we could make a dent in this stubborn progress. No luck.

Before I knew it, Ann had given Eli and I the final decision: time to pack a bag, we were going to visit St. Elizabeth’s - the hospital. Plan B? Seriously?! My heart sunk, contractions came to a dead halt and my tears raced down my face. I needed a plumber! I couldn’t shut off the tear valves. The disappointment seeing the tub being packed up, Eli scurrying to make a hospital bag we thought we never would have needed, and seeing the birth team pack up and move supplies to the car was all a haze. I struggled to come to terms that this was really happening. Pleading between my rational mind and my now frazzled and scared flooded state was the thought “But … nothing’s wrong … Why is this happening? What did I do wrong?”.

I couldn’t control that fear was now getting too cozy in my heart. I have heard the stories from many who know Ann, “If Ann can’t get the baby out, no one can.” I jumped from confusion to anger knowing that for the last eight months I had been imagining, dreaming and planning for a home water birth. I desperately wanted a peaceful delivery, nothing but love to welcome our daughter into the world. So desperate, I would have done anything Ann asked me to do to have it. Just eight weeks before my sister in law had a beautiful homebirth. I beamed hearing her story, even brought her into my thoughts as I worked through contractions.

I had championed, waved the flags, and sang the praises of the experience I wanted. I made friends watch the Business of Being Born, pitched midwifes and doulas, stood on soap boxes about the woman’s ability to give birth, and the benefits of a homebirth to all willing to listen. I felt horribly cheated. I also felt I had failed - failed at the very beginning of starting my own family. Selfish? Maybe. But I sadly had little control of the eruption of emotions that raged through my system like unforgiving lava. The drive from my house to the hospital thankfully felt longer than it was. I still don’t know how Eli was able to keep his composure even though I had lost mine.

Stay Tuned For Part Three of Clara's Delivery Story.

Part 1: The Beginning of The Grand Finale

Eli and I 

Part 1: Clara's Delivery Story

Friday, May 4th I was still plugging away at work. Dolly, my border collie/gonzo mix, was glued to my side. I was hoping that my inability to do anything without her cautiously watching my every move was a sign the grande finale was near.

Everything was ready in the house. Important phone numbers of people to call where in bold writing on the whiteboard in the kitchen. I had picked out gluten free snacks for Eli and Neva and set them out on the dining room table, like gluten free Oreos – who knew right? I had reviewed all of Ann's "When to call the midwife" documents, and even re-read other information she gave me. I read them over and over, digesting the words as I felt I was about to take the biggest test of my life. I would have rocked it, aced it, blown it out of the water if the test had been multiple choice.

I surprised even myself on how patient I was being. Maybe the looming transition from “Lyndi” to becoming the “Mom of a baby” was motivation enough to keep me content being a rolly-polly preggo. Plus, I was often reminded by those well-intentioned “well, no one stays pregnant forever.” Those comments in combination with constant inquires like, “how's it going?”, “how are you feeling?”, “are you going to have to be induced?” and other questions. I took them all as “we are thinking about you!” and let them soak in as a little bit of love delivered through text message. Oh the digital age!

May 5th: The Beginning 

The beginning of the end – the grande finale started marching on May 5th 2012 at 5AM. My stomach--without me--took a ride down a huge hill releasing two tons of butterflies into my body. My mind finally caught up with the excitement and coordinated with my fingers to call the midwife. The instructions I received at first didn’t sound like they fit with my rush of bouncing baby daydreams – “go back to bed, get some rest.” I felt like a little kid all over again: a bit disappointed that someone noticed the clock and sent me to take a nap all over again. Sigh. I did as I was told, crawled back into bed and banked three more hours of crucial rest for the upcoming days (yes, plural) ahead.

At noon, my midwife Ann, her student Neva, and assistant arrived, checked on the status of the golden gates of baby exodus, and set off again to check back in the evening. At 5PM, after plenty of consistent productive contractions, I got the lovely soak-your-socks water breaking experience (only I wasn’t wearing any socks). Staring out the living room window with Eli, I scurried off to the restroom beaming. Progression!

Eli comforting me during contractions 

My best friend Colleen, then closely behind the midwife crew, arrived. Ann and Neva kept a close eye on baby's and my vitals. I bounced on my exercise ball, mixed in some yoga and experimented with breathing. I was enjoying this; I was working to meet my little girl. I adopted the mantra that each contraction, each moment was one moment, one step closer to meeting Clara and welcoming her into the world.

Eli kept close the entire time, only leaving occasionally to reassure our farm critters they had not been forgotten nor were they going to miss a meal. I am still unable to give justice to explaining Eli's service. He was my hero. He kept not only me but all out guests comfortable and taken care of. I am truly blessed.

Labor Pool - Ann Olsen midwife, Neva and me

Laboring in my home surrounded by loving supportive people was glorious. All the vital stats were excellent; this baby was already an athlete. I imagined her saying “Bring it on! Let’s get it done.” I even went outside and visited the horses, smelled flowers and leaned on the house while working through a few contractions. Then I had crossed the pinnacle, 6cm dilated with some help from the midwife and homeopathics, but never the less I had made it! The reward – getting in the giant birthing tub! Laboring in a birthing tub is treat It’s like a giant lava cake with French vanilla bean ice cream, sprinkles, and sparkler candles. My inner mermaid and my knees were thanking me. The tub is inflated with a cushy floor, and handles on the side. During contractions, I would snuggle the side of the tub or retreat back into a frog pose. Neva, Colleen and Eli became my champions during the toughest moments. I turned into a raisin before getting out of the tub.

Before I knew it Saturday, May 5th had come to an end. My labor continuing and Clara's way out was a solid 7cm, close but 10cm is the goal. Three centimeters sounded easy enough. I was all-in, ready and willing to stand on my head if my midwife asked me to. I was almost willing and ready to do anything.

Warning this may be TMI: My stubborn spine facing cervix was zooming back towards my spine and only teasing us with staying forward. Homeopathics, manual manipulation and plenty of strong contractions weren’t convincing it to stay forward. By the end of Saturday, it was obvious that that my midwife, Ann, was getting concerned. She has pulled out plenty of her tricks and my body, for whatever reason, wasn't getting her hints. I am writing these posts in a friendly way, meaning a lot of the details I am going to omit, however feel free to reach out if you are interested in hearing more.

Part Two of Clara's Delivery Story

The Toughest Part of Pregnancy

I am seizing the opportunity to write another post before my little one arrives. No doubt fueled by hormones, I have, like clock work, been waking up at 6AM each morning AWAKE. No caffeine needed when I am excited about the possibility that today might be baby's birthday. The speed in which I get out of bed is right up there with hearing the dog or cat puke and hoping to move the animal to an easy to clean surface. (Carpet is no bueno.)

*Fair warning, the post below is most likely hormone fueled.

--Begin rant--

To be brutally honest, the messages flooding in from various channels are mostly appreciated. However, not 100%. I am going to give managing inbound inquiries a frowny face on my list of things I enjoy doing. I get it, while well-intentioned,  many of the statements are downright obviously uneducated assumptions. I politely nod, then immediately begin to vent to my ever patient husband, "I had SEVEN people ask me today if I was going to be induced! I am only four days late beyond my "due date".. blah blah blah". He shakes his head and synchronizes sighs with me.

In the lead for the toughest part about pregnancy is managing and digesting the social inquires and responses. Yep, those who are in the camp of Annoying Assumptions, Negative and Nervous and then The Great Googlers have tried my patience. When messaging back and forth with my mother in law, the two of us landed on the only reasonable explanation; we boiled down our thoughts and decided it came down to education. Sadly, fear still plays a big part in how women view pregnancy, birth and even child care. Medical professionals throw out scary scenarios that leave Moms confused about their options and even worse they learn to use those scary stories as justification for even scarier procedures. 

Am I going to be hugging a tree or chanting during my birth? Probably not. However, I might hug a horse and chant "bring me the chocolate!" That being said, my choice for having a midwife for prenatal care and planning a home birth is clearly not a perfect fit for everyone. I get it. I respect that. However, it's tough to respect people's fear based opinions when they really, really don't know what they are talking about. One clue: when I asked four different people at different times what they thought a midwife did, they said "arrived with towels and a bowl of water." Seriously?!

If tonight this kiddo decides to attempt making an appearance, I melt into an exhausted ball of goo, baby is happy as a bug-in-a-rug refusing to budge another centimeter, and my midwife says "let's go to the hospital," then I would be OK with that. Why? Because I am not anti-medical, anti-hospital or anti-doctor. I believe hospitals deal with the toughest of scenarios, and they do the best they know how to do with their education and experience. In other words I think a lot of the time medical professionals don't know any better: for example, avoiding episiotomies, tears, having to use tools like the forceps, vacuum and the biggest one on my pet peeve list - educating Mom's about their options. Hospitals see the extremes, midwives get to see the "normal". When things get sticky, midwifes like Ann have an amazing amount of training, equipment and tricks up their sleeves. With nearly two thousand births under her belt, Ann's transfer rate is 4% to the hospital, with only 2% of them having a c-section. She owns the scissors to do an  episiotomy but in all her years of delivering babies they have never touched human skin! Midwives also know how to deal with tricky things and if I had a magic lamp that gave me three wishes one of them would be for a lifelong alliance between midwives and doctors so that midwives could share these tidbits of valuable knowledge during doctors' education and training. 

-- End rant --

Sigh.

Thank goodness I am having a pleasant pregnancy...

For Those With A Pregnant Friend: Things NOT to Say OR Ask
Yes, these are things I have actually been asked or told. I just wanted to share a few so you get the idea.

Ask "How are you?" NOT "You must be feeling huge! Don't worry no one stays pregnant forever!"

Ask "If you have a moment, I would love to hear about your experience with your midwife." NOT "Your midwife must be nervous about you going over your due date. Are you stressed that your baby is OK?"

Ask "Can you put me on the list to be contacted when the baby arrives?" NOT "Haven't you had that baby yet? Geez, I have been watching Facebook and want an update!"

Ask "How are you feeling about the delivery?" NOT "[some terrible war birth story you heard from a friend of a friend that barely made it to the hospital and almost died]"

Ask "Can I do a grocery run for you?" NOT "You are SO huge! How can you even drive to the store?"

Say "I am excited to meet your little bundle of joy!" NOT "I can't believe you aren't going to get an epidural.  You will want it, TRUST me. You aren't going to be able to handle the pain. I loved having it!"

Say "Your positive attitude is fantastic, what a lucky baby!" NOT "You just wait, you are going to beg for them to induce you."

Say "If you have time, I am interested to hear how you choose a homebirth." NOT "Aren't you scared that something is going to go wrong? You are SO brave, I can't believe you aren't going to [insert random procedure here]"

Say "It's interesting learning about midwives, I would like you to tell me more." NOT "There are mixed feelings around midwives and their practices. You should really be careful since you want a healthy baby".

Say "What are your thoughts around tests and vaccinations?" NOT "You must be having a homebirth because you don't want to give your baby vaccines or be tested. You know that is how we got the whooping cough outbreak, right?"

One more SIGH for good measure.

Waiting for Baby: 40+ Weeks

I have to smile. Each morning I wake up to messages from friends and family checking in, all hoping for news other than "not yet...". According to my midwife, I was technically due April 26th. This date has obviously come and gone, giving me a bit more time to fluff my nest and polish my skills in patience. 

This snuggle yoga baby must be happily squished into her apartment. So far my body meets some of the text book prep work, and midwife continues to give both baby and I a thumbs up.

Last week I was given a beautiful gift. My best friend Colleen organized a mother's blessing. A ceremony were just a few special women attend to spend time with the mom-to-be in honor of her upcoming journey. Colleen hired an amazing henna artist to decorate my belly!

The time spent in a circle of love was indeed a precious memory. Each person took created a yarn bracelet that they will wear until after baby arrives. A way for us all to be connected.  

I wanted to highlight my friend Colleen. She throughout the years has been a consistent pillar of support for me and I in turn try to be for her. Our friendship is one that had to be of destiny, it only seems fitting to request her presence during the arrival of our little jumping bean. 

It could very well be that this could be my last post being "with child". Thank you for all the love, support and encouragement over these 10 months. 

The Finished Birth Plan

My "fake" birth plan.

First off, no one is going to read a 30 page birth plan aka novel. Keeping it short, and to the point is easy since I have a midwife since we have spent the last seven months getting on the same page. I got a few ideas after scanning, meaning I didn't ingest every word cover to cover of Dr. Sear's The Birth Book. (Excellent read!) Towards the back of the book there are a couple what seemed to be common sense birth plans, geared towards those who were on the hospital birth wagon. For a long time, I wasn't sure I really needed a birth plan. But, like having napkins in the car "just in case" has proved itself many times over to be a good idea.

This birth plan is intended to be read by my midwife, those attending the birth as well as in the event of a transfer by the care staff.

Birth Plan & Preferences

April 14th, 2012
To: Ann Olsen and all other attendees
In the event of a transfer: St. Elizabeth Hospital - Care staff

From: Eli and Lyndi Thompson

We have chosen to have a home birth assisted by midwife Ann Olsen and her team. After working with Ann Olsen since September of 2011 receiving excellent prenatal care, we are excited to share this precious time in her capable hands. In acknowledgement that all births are different we have prepared a brief summary of our preferences for a home birth as well as in the event of a necessary transfer.

Overall:

• Husband to be present at all times
• Guests (outside of midwife and her team) will be notified during active labor
• Guests are encouraged to be calm, quiet and respectful of privacy.
• Attending guests agree to be in complete support of Lyndi, Eli and midwives choices
• Baby to be placed with mother after birth - skin to skin.
• Father and mother would like a quiet, relaxed bonding time with no bright lights to bond with baby after delivery
• Vitamin K and eye ointment are OK and consent forms have been signed
• Parents reject infant Hepatitis B injection

For Hospital Transfer: Specific to c-section 

• Only area for incision to be shaved
• At least one of mother's arms to be unstrapped
• Father to be with baby at all times
• Baby to stay in recovery room with parents

---

Hooray, a less than one page document in easy to read bullet point format is done. Even though I know Ann and her team know my preferences, and in the event of a transfer I would have her at my side being my advocate I feel a tiny bit of relief typing this up. Maybe, thinking through a birth plan is one more thing to make the experience less surreal?

Without Answers

While there is a lot of mystery in the world, the greatest mystery to me is a deep desire to know "Why?". What a burden to have to know the answer, to ache for a satisfactory answer. It's heartbreaking to live in a culture that loves a simple black and white answer when really, it is the complex one that is normally right.

I had to pace, listening and crying alongside my best friend over the phone. There were several moments I had to admit to myself that I indeed did not have any answers, and I am still confused and angry about it.

Yesterday the rains returned, the gray sky over a fleeting moment of spring returned making the ground soggy once again. I trudged out early in the morning to visit the creatures with a sinking sad feeling taking harbor. While work kept my mind occupied I couldn't shake a mysterious sadness.

"It's the weather" I thought...

I thought of my best friend, as I often do. She must have returned from her trip east across the Pacific to visit the tropical shores of Hawaii. I hadn't heard from her. However, I had been enjoying the privilage of following their adventure through photos she posted on Facebook. Early Wednesday morning, the only thing I could think was to look up "positive provocations" while sipping on some orange juice, attempting to wiggle out of feeling lethargic. I posted a note on Facebook, with the simple intention of publicly appreciating those in my life. Then the email came in, my best friend's husband had passed away. The world melted, it was then that nothing else really existed.

Tears flowed, then the pacing began.

Washington's Whooping Cough Epidemic

Last week on Wednesday, Eli and I went to visit our midwife Ann. No pokes, or tests to be done this time! I came ready armed with questions about the DTaP vaccine, if I was able to give passive immunity to baby as well as Eli getting vaccinated. Ann was ready as usual with a handout taking about the recent epidemic in Washington.

With a few months into 2012, Washington has had 640 cases of pertussis, also known whooping cough in 23 counties. (As of March 31st) While the highest rate of those being reported are primary school aged children, whooping cough, also known as pertussis is a scary for infants.

"Pertussis, or whooping cough, is a highly contagious respiratory illness spread by coughing and sneezing, but one that can be prevented by getting vaccinated, health officials said.

Whooping cough - which causes cold-like symptoms followed by a long, severe cough - is most dangerous for infants, though it affects people of all ages. Four infants have died in the previous two years in Washington." - The News Tribune, April 3rd 2012

With an infant on the way, and eager visitors hoping to come visit her my current policy is going to be a strict wash your hands often and please don't visit if you have any symptoms of not feeling well. I don't feel like I need to put a full stop on having anyone over that isn't vaccinated, however I have encouraged those who will be spending the most time with her, mostly grandparents to check on their vaccination status.

Turns out the jury is still out on whether or not babies can get passive immunity to pertussis through breast milk and pregnancy. Luckily for me, in January of 2010 I got the DTaP booster. Brave Mr. Thompson is going into the doctor on Friday to get his DTaP booster. Beyond Pertussis, the DTaP also has tetnaus which is a good vaccine to have especially while working around our little hobby farm, lock jaw is no fun.

More information about Pertussis (Whooping Cough)
Washington State Department of Health
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Places to get the DTaP vaccine
Walgreens: $63
Multicare Mobile Health Services: $60

Positive Birth Quotes

Sigh, what a relief to be solidly in the full term window. With 18 days left until the official "due" date, it's still a guess date. A couple of exciting things, baby laundry is washed and my body is is clearly on board with getting ready for the grand finale.

Sparing the details. Feel free to ask me if you must know. I think my sister in law might have some magic for progressing pregnancy. During our adventure down to Oregon, we spent a great deal of time together being   being rolly polly expecting mommas. At dinner, baby decided to do a crazy flip and flop and then settled head down and there she stayed. So then, yesterday Amanda and I spent the evening together deep in baby themed conversation. She went home, I snuggled into bed and then woke up feeling like Aunt Flo was about to arrive. After a quick Google it looks like that minor crampy feeling is normal and might be my experience of the Braxton Hicks "practice" contractions. Thanks Manda. Here she is with her amazingly adorable daughter. Amanda had a beautiful and positive home birth experience that I have deeply appreciated hearing about as well as sharing with pride.

Preparation for the Grand Finale:
H2O: Keeping hydrated is almost a game now, currently switching between tap water and orange seltzer water the game to stay hydrated is on!
Baby Supplies: My once long list has been trimmed down to only a few non-essentials. Even the baby's laundry is washed and ready.
Preparing work: Switched over customer calls back to our CEO/Founder. Just in case! We have a new hire starting on Monday that will also be able to take on a lot of customer service and communication tasks should the need arise.
Deep Breath: Flutters of excitement are starting to come more often. Scratching my head on good ways to let everyone know our little one arrives without leaving anyone out or making gluing anyone to the phone.

Positive Birth Quotes:
Since the only book I am consuming currently is Eat Pray Love, I wanted to skip the birth details and dive right into mentally gearing up. That lead me to herding these birth quotes into something I could quickly reference as the flutters strike.

“Even if I am simply one more woman laying one more brick in the foundation of a new and more humane world, it is enough to make me rise eagerly from my bed each morning and face the challenge of breaking the historic silence that has held women captive for so long.” –Judy Chicago

“When a man is truly ‘present’ for the birth of his child and allows himself to be touched by the mystery unfolding before his eyes, he will have an unquestionable experience that can catapult him into the next phase of his development as a mature human being. His encounter with the power of birth…can connect him to his partner and his child in ways that sustain him for the rest of his life.” –John Franklin

"Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile…initially scared me to death." - Betty Bender

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."- Laura Stavoe Harm

300,000 women will be giving birth with you today.

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude." - Judith M. Knowlton

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” Barbara Katz Rothman

Giving birth should be your greatest achievement not your greatest fear.
- Jane Weideman

“Pregnancy and labor are periods of vulnerability. This vulnerability is not weakness, but softness, which later contributes to adjustment to motherhood. Feeling dependent may open you to your need for help, and the ability to accept help from others can increase your strength and endurance for labor. Each of us must come to terms with our own feminine strength and our need for protection.” –Gayle Peterson (An Easier Childbirth)

“Midwifery calls upon you to be the best you can be: the best advocate, guide, healer, counselor, mother, comrade, and confidant of the women seeking your care.”— Anne Frye

“When he becomes a father, a man leaves behind his life as a single individual and expands into a more inclusive role. He becomes a link in an unbroken chain. And in doing so, he himself undergoes a birth process–the birth of himself as a father.” –John Franklin (FatherBirth)

‎”When a woman births without drugs…she learns that she is strong and powerful…She learns to trust herself, even in the face of powerful authority figures. Once she realizes her own strength and power, she will have a different attitude for the rest of her life, about pain, illness, disease, fatigue, and difficult situations.” –Polly Perez

“The way a society views a pregnant and birthing woman, reflects how that society views women as a whole. If women are considered weak in their most powerful moments, what does that mean?” –Marcie Macari

“Labor is also teamwork. It is a mother and baby learning together how to push and how to be born, how to yield and separate from the union of pregnancy. You are not in control nor are you out of control during labor. The best way to approach labor is with an attitude of learning rather than controlling.” –Gayle Peterson (An Easier Childbirth)

“The family’s trust in the midwife and the midwife’s trust in the competence of the family members are the basis of caring that has the power of magic.” ~ Mary C. Howell (from Midwifery Today e-news)

“The greatest joy is to become a mother; the second greatest is to be a midwife.” –Norwegian Proverb

His Point of View: Interview with Eli.

In June, Eli and I will celebrate ten years together. We have shared our journey as a partnership, ever committed to learning and supporting one another. Even when we found ourselves climbing up some steep challenging parts of our lives we were both willing to put in 100% of our efforts, buckle down and prepare to weather the storm. Because of our continued commitment we have been able to enjoy many blessings. I have come to accept that I lack the ability describe Eli's generosity, however I make it a daily routine to express my appreciation. 

Our Story

We met in high school, an unlikely pair meeting in a HTML programming class. Being one of two girls and not currently giving myself any technical credit I wasn't quite sure what to make of the experience. Eli and my fast friendship bloomed just before he graduated and began attending the University of Washington. In 2006,    during a guest DJ evening at the C89.5 office, I was standing in awe as my best friend bent down on one knee before me asking me to marry him. A year later, in front of those we loved, publicly expressed our commitment and values to start an new chapter together in marriage.

In 2008, shortly after the tulip tree had begun blooming Eli and I moved into our first home. A comfortable rambler on a small parcel of farm critter friendly land. Right after Christmas in 2010 the two of us fell in love with the idea of creating a family. In August of 2011, both Eli and I spent a weekend in a surreal bliss wondering if we were really expecting or if we had just shared in a beautiful dream. 

I have shared a great deal of my own thoughts, as well as experiences on the blog. While, Eli shares his experience with me. I thought it would be a treat to document his responses, as well and share them with you.

His Point of View: Eli's Responses

Pregnancy:

What was your initial thought when you found out Lyndi was pregnant? 

I was relieved because now I could stop thinking about consulting a medical provider about why Lyndi wasn’t pregnant. We put some effort into it, friends and family all around us were getting pregnant, but it took nine months before Lyndi actually became pregnant.

What has been the best part about Lyndi being pregnant? 

Lyndi’s a pretty happy girl in general, but that “pregnant glow” is true; Lyndi has been reveling in her state. And because “a happy wife makes a happy life,” I also get to share her joy.

What has been the most challenging? 

By far the most challenging part of Lyndi’s pregnancy has been figuring out what’s for dinner. I only know how to cook a few dishes and almost all of them have some piece of meat at its center. However, Lyndi’s pallet has rejected most meats including chicken breasts and steaks. I’ve been about 50% successful in creating meals we can both enjoy, but I’ve decided I need to take some cooking classes.

What advice to do want to give to other husbands with pregnant wives? 

While I believe that you should always be kind, loving, and hospitable to your wife, be prepared to be even more so during the pregnancy. I’ve run out to get special foods, opened my wallet wider than I normally like to prepare the nursery, and chauffeur Lyndi wherever she needs to go because it’s unfeasible for her to drive. I look forward to when Lyndi is more self-sufficient again, but I’m pleased to help her out.

What has been the most fun memory of Lyndi being pregnant? 

Lyndi has really embraced her pregnancy and everything that comes with it. I really enjoy her waddling happily around the house and rubbing her “turnip” unconsciously. Lyndi’s the funniest girl I know and now she makes a lot of jokes about her condition.

The Birth: 

What did you initially think about having a homebirth? 

I can’t really remember what I thought initially about the idea of homebirth. I do know that I had been disgusted with the poor care I’d seen hospitals give to our friends and family. The idea of having a homebirth and a midwife was appealing because Lyndi would get truly 1-on-1 care from a midwife.

What made you comfortable with Ann Olsen, the midwife? 

We only interviewed one midwife, Ann Olsen, because after talking with her just once, I was sold. Ann was an EMT before she was a midwife, she delivers about one in-home baby a week as a midwife, and during her vacations she volunteers in birth centers around the world and, during at least one trip, delivered over 100 babies. She clearly had the experience to fully handle any situation Lyndi and Clara might find themselves in.

What worries did you have, that you no longer have? 

Sometime ago, I was a little worried that Lyndi might have a difficult labor spanning many days. While I understand that could happy, I know that Ann has directed Lyndi to stay hydrated, take her supplements, and also take Gentle Birth which all contribute to lessening the chance of a long difficult birth. Lyndi’s also super-tough and with Ann’s coaching, I don’t anticipate any screwing around—when it’s time, they’ll work together to make it happen. 

What advice would you give to another husband whose wife wants to have a homebirth? 

I believe in a woman's ability to give birth; they don’t require elaborate monitoring or surgeons on standby. Therefore, birth can happen at home just as easily as a hospital. It’s most important to ensure that your wife is comfortable wherever she is as that’s a key element to the birth process. Support her in whatever decision she makes. 

What if things don’t go to plan, what is your plan B? 

I don’t make plan Bs. I don’t believe there’s any value in planning for a contingency which is probably not going to happen. I do know that in the worst case, we have paramedics a few minutes away in Maple Valley, but that’s all the thought I’ll put into that idea.

Baby: What are you most excited about when it comes to meeting your baby? 

I’m excited to just hold her. She’s been more of an idea, so far. I’m excited for her to become a reality.

What was a fun memory for preparing for the baby? 

One fun part was going to Ann’s for your appointments; that made Clara feel more real; we wouldn’t be going to visit a midwife if she wasn’t real. We almost always made the appointments at midday so it was nice to take off from work and take a drive in the daylight, too. 

What is one thing you are a bit nervous about? 

I still don’t really know how to take care of a baby so I’m a little nervous about that. However, we know a lot of moms and grandmas who I know would be happy to help me with the technical details of diaper rash and other day to day situations.

What advice would you give to another husband expecting a baby? 

Go all-in on the pregnancy and the baby. You’ll feel the most joy and the least stress if you’re totally committed.

36 Weeks: Home Visit

While I couldn't tell you where the time went, I was excited that this moment had come - the home visit! Being a candidate for a home birth sounds so official. Yet, it makes sense having the midwife get a lay of the land, getting a visual of how to get to our house and making sure our home meets at least the basics requirements like you know ... running water.

So Monday evening, my midwife Ann Olsen, arrives at our little hobby farm with her student in toe. First, the kitchen and meeting our carpet sharks. Pal, being ecstatic that he has two new visitors in his house begins gathering all the toys in the area and bringing them to our guests that barely got in the door. I had Dolly semi-focused and corralled in the kitchen. Rewarding her with slivers of cheese cookies as she remains at a "wait". I am getting more confident with her greeting strangers. Dolly was blessed with being cute and cursed with being nervous. If she is setup for success, she does great! Meaning, don't poke at her through her crate, or immediately lean over and give her a big bear hug. Dolly's personal bubble, an escape route and ability to see her people are keys to becoming her buddy.

The house was in pretty good shape, like an office worker that barely remembers the last time he broke a sweat. Thankfully, Eli and I had the weekend before our visitors tackle the house chores head on. I remember planting $30 worth of blooming spring flowers in the front yard, coming into rest and then they were gone. Oh yeah, that's right -the giant equine goats were in the yard and decided to mow 70% of them down to the ground. So, that was a bit of a flop. Yet, I was personally enjoying our bedroom now being open door friendly. Normally, we close our bedroom door as it looks like an isolated tornado sucked up our laundry, spit it out then magically disappeared.

Make room for the buckets! Neva, Ann's student and Eli volunteered to bring in the birth kit, birth pool and supplies. This home birth even comes with towel service. Ritzy. I'll admit to it now, I peaked inside the big green bucket of birth kit treasures. No gold or chocolate! Just mattress covers, birth supplies and adult diapers.

Looks like Ann's assistant, who is also her daughter will be the captain of the birth pool setup. One note, remember to turn up the hot water tank, the pool doesn't come with a heater.

Good thing I am putting together a birth randomness kit for me and baby. Complete with  peach mango coconut water, baby supplies, baby decorating devices, aromatherapy essential oils and  Ritter Sport milk chocolate buttered biscuits.

One of my favorite parts of the tour was showing Ann and Neva the finished baby room. I love waddling down to that side of the house, opening the door and being transported into a world of cozy cuteness. There indeed may be a heavy pink feel to the room, yet I don't mind. It's my current land of Narnia. I have a mix of gDiapers and Fuzzibunz all organized ready to go. Pretty much all baby supplies are on stand by ready to go to work. The closet however is a different story, above baby's wardrobe of the latest infant and toddler fashions is tons of stuff. Each boxed or bagged up to give to a friend or family member. I have been given great generosity and happy to pass on the love.

At the bottom of baby's closet is my brand new, fancy electric breast pump. Oh so fancy! Ann is always on top of her game and let Eli and I know that our insurance covers whatever one I so chose. A quick trip into the PSMI, (Pacific Mother's support, inc) in Bellevue was all it took to pick up the pump. A great place to go for supplies! I will be visiting them again two weeks after baby arrives to get fitted for bras. Nursing girls afternoon on the town? I think so. I went with the Medela on the go tote, a sleek yet not going to go as far as saying stylish contraption. It comes complete with bottles, cooler and a handy ice pack.

The rest of Ann's visit was a regular prenatal appointment. Neva got another chance to feel baby taking up all of her apartment space. Baby even got a pat on the back from Ann and another "Good baby" since she continues to be head down, back up and ready for business.

So, when Ann visited I was a little over 36 weeks. Writing this now I am teetering on becoming a full term ticking time bomb. All the major milestones have been reached. I even got back test results from Ann with good news. GBS (Group B Strep) and all the other random virus tests that were taken all came back negative. Green light for me! With only a few minor items left on my to-do list, I am feeling like my nest is fluffed and ready. Thank goodness for having a fantastic job! Working has kept my brain fresh, engaged and time moving forward.

At this point, any looming feeling that the birth is around the corner is only exciting in a good way. The only emotional pivot I had recently is that I have been reluctant to spend any more time focusing on the birth. Instead, I want to just bask in being my rolly polly preggo self. If this stretched out to it's max, I would still only get five more weeks. I adore couch time with Eli, watching baby adjust herself into a more satisfying and comfortable yoga pose. Mentally dabbling in water color day dreams of what it will be like to be transformed into a parent, watch our little girl smile for the first time and see her drooling sleeping on her Dad's chest.

The home visit ended with Ann and Neva meeting the horses, and waving a warm "See you soon!". I was proudly wearing a smile having yet another reason to cheer for midwives and Ann's excellent prenatal care.

A Few Rules I Try to Live By

As a child I remember there being a lot of rules. From safety rules of looking both ways and holding someone's hand before crossing the street, playful rules of no waterfalls during a game of wall ball to curious rules of saying  "please" and "thank you". Parents, teachers, even friends helped shaped my world with rules. Then life evolved from being "black and white" to a more "fuzzy gray" allowing for personal interpretation.

Here are a few rules I have adopted:

Identities evolve: A key idea that I have moved away from accepting as a fact and embraced it as an opportunity. People can change and allowing myself to experience them in a fresh new light allows for great opportunity for a better friendship or a path to let go and move on.

Don't panic: The Hitchhiker's guide was right to emphasize this. I haven't yet found a reason to panic. Years ago taking wilderness survival classes the number one reason people failed to come out of a wilderness emergency alive was because they panicked.

Go outside at least twice a day: Our Northwest Fall, Winter and even Spring gives a lot of people the idea that it's okay to make excuses because of some drizzly rain and skip going outdoors. For me, I go out and feed and check on critters several times a day. Rain or shine I have all kinds of gear to be setup to handle either.

Try to never assume: This is a rule and a pet peeve. A tough habit to break for sure, yet I am convinced that assumption is at the core of all misunderstandings.

Appreciate change: Each milestone I have hit along my pregnancy journey has been exciting. Even the moments where I am praying to the porcelain gods I am now thankful for. The only constant is change and that in itself is worth appreciating.

People are more valuable than things: There is a lot of truth to this image. One way to really learn how to appreciate people more and things less is to share. Our little farm house isn't fancy and the things in it were chosen with sharing and gathering of people we love in mind.

If you love the person, call: Better yet part of the waves of the busy schedule to allow for space to meet in person. It's easy to shoot off a quick email or text message yet I find that having a quick conversation on the phone is becoming a real treat.

It's okay to be late, but don't be a flake: I'll admit it, for most appointments that are more than 30 miles away I am going to be late. I am quick to pick up the phone and give people a heads up. Another pet peeve and rule is that if you need to be late or cancel it's OK, but no shows are not okay.

Have conversations with children: I have a lot of friends with kids. One thing I have noticed over the years is there is a type of parent that truly talks to their kids. From babies to toddlers these parents skipped the go-go-ga-ga types of nonsense and went straight for talking to them. From my limited observations, these kids are by far the best well spoken little people I know. Gleaning from their parents and my years working with kids at camps that talking to them like anyone else is a rewarding experience.

Ask for help: There have been a few times where I set my pride aside and asked for help and came out glad I did. The feeling that "I owe" someone something quickly goes away as it feels great to be able to reciprocate and help out people that are so generous to help me.

When volunteering offer specifics: The common catch all if you need help phrase "Let me know if I can do anything" isn't helpful. I try and offer detailed tasks I am willing and can take on: "I can come over tomorrow evening and help clean", or "I can take on the task of picking up the cake." I have found being specific helps a frazzled person out and are greatly appreciated.

Old is a blessing: Being able to celebrate birthdays, grow a gray hair or hold a baby is a privilege denied to many.

Let go of extreme opinions: Tough, as passion gets wrapped into many topics. However, extreme opinions are  devouring flames to constructive conversations and progress.

Stop and say "Hi!" to deer: When I see a deer I squeal. Pretty much instantaneously. Saying "Hi" doesn't have to stop with deer, I will also talk to birds, and other critters I see. Just taking a moment to view a wild animal and appreciate it's presence is in itself a treat.

Feed curiosity: Having people in my life I can openly pick their brain with my endless set of questions has been fantastic! Being able to have those conversations feeds my hungry curiosity. I also find that doing art projects, gardening and reading really kick my curiosity into high gear.

Indulge in brain feeding media: Ever seen those "Eat this, not that?" I feel like there should be a "Watch this, not that" and a "Do this, not that" book. The main reason is that my brain space is actually a limited resource. As much as I would like to be able to successfully multitask, it doesn't really work. So, with my limited brain resources, time and energy I might as well indulge in media that is worth it. Listening to radio shows like This American Life, Storycorps, and NPR shows like Planet Money are great. Eli and I have also been sans TV since we have lived together, we do however enjoy watching Netflix, most recently Eureka and baby documentaries.

Titles don't mean anything: My great friend Colleen and I share a memory from years ago. Driving her home after work one day I made the statement, a bit out of frustration "You are not your job title!" It has resonated with us both for a long time.

People forget words: I always remember how people made me feel. What people say fades with time if not instantly.

35 Week Midwife Appointment

My lovingly nicknamed '"turnip" baby bump, meets the real thing. 

Surreal thinking that the grand finale for this amazing journey is just around the corner.

On Friday, Eli and I attended our first weekly midwife appointment. Seeing our midwife Ann on a regular basis is something we both look forward to. I keep a Google doc open during the week to collect questions to ask Ann. I organize the document by category of pregnancy, birth, baby, postpartum and other notes.

On this week's question list was Vitamin K, eye ointment, placenta delivery and our pediatrician decision.

Backing up a few days, Eli and I drove down on Tuesday to do a meet and greet with Beth Falanga, a naturopathic physician in Renton. She came highly recommended by Ann as a pediatrician and family doctor. While Eli was being stone faced during the meet and greet I took a less serious approach and asked her questions about her practice, experience and philosophy. The gem I took away was her statement "If it's 3AM and you have a question, call me (picks up her cell phone) there is no answering service that number goes to my cell. I want you to feel like you have a resource." Sold! Her warm spirit and appreciation for balancing preventive, natural and conventional methods was a good fit for what I was looking for. Especially in topics around vaccination, testing and communication.

Back to Friday, after sharing that Eli and I had chosen Dr. Falanga as our pediatrician Ann jotted down our choice and the appointment proceeded. This time with a bonus! Ann has a student for the spring and summer named Neva, a current doula studying to become a midwife. 

The grand finale will be attended by Ann, her assistant Alyssa and her student Neva. All three have great energy, confident and comforting there will be so many hands to help one another. Should make their labor light. Ha! Light labor... ha... joking. 

While it would seem that after my body has been pregnant and gone through producing up to 50% more blood than normal I would be an easy stick. However, it hasn't been the case. Third time was the charm and Ann got what will hopefully be my last blood draw testing one more time for antibodies against CMV and EBV. I also had the Group B strep swap done. Dusting off my hands I can say done and done!

My routine of supplements is getting switched up. Fish oil is being paused until after birth as Ann says it can delay birth, and instead I get to chug down earth infused diluted licorice. The tincture is called Gentle Birth, a herbal liquid that doesn't actually taste as bad as I thought it would. With testimonials saying that it improves recovery, helps labor progress with less pain and so on I was okay to test it out. I take a quarter teaspoon three times a day before meals mixed with water.

Baby is still happily head down and snuggled into her cozy apartment. I am wondering whether or not she will be willing to give up her twenty four hour buffet, back rubs and tender ribs to kick. This busy little jumping bean seems to know just what to do to make our midwife happy, with her feet at my back, head down and back forward she seems to know all the right moves.

Choosing A Baby Name

The task of choosing a name can be an adventure all on it's own. The name can come from a creative endeavor, take some pondering or be simply obvious with no hesitation.

Creating A List

In December of 2011 Eli and I began exploring our family albums, reflecting on history some very serious muted photos and jotting down names we both liked. After taking a good look, I saw a striking resembelance between Eli and his great Grandfather Nicolai Bahnman. Eli's great Grandmother, Nicolai's wife, stood next to her husband in photos with pride. Her features were kind, yet  Her name Meta Clara Bahnman captured my attention, and Clara was quickly added to the top of the list for girl names. 

The Monday after Thanksgiving, the doctor smiled looked up from the ultrasound and announced "this is a little girl", we knew the name of our little jumping bean was going to be Clara. 

Ideas on Choosing a Baby Name:

• Write down family names: Break out those family heritage books.
• Go through baby books: Try the library, Half Price Books and baby consignment stores.
• Use a baby name inspiration list: Babycenter has plenty!
• Add a unique twist: My baby cousin's name is Miles and his middle name is Rainier. Love it!
• Jot down close friend's names: I know a few friends who have named their kids after close friends.
• Think of Important Meanings

Things to keep in mind:

Web search: I actually did a quick web search for the name Clara Thompson. I wanted to see what came up for other people with that name. 

Don't try and please people: So many of my friends refrained from telling anyone their baby name choices just to avoid people's weird reactions.
Be nice to your kid: When it comes to nicknames, initials and pronouncing a name try to be mindful of the child's experience with their name. 

What I have really enjoyed is having cards and packages addressed directly to Clara. Even though she isn't here yet I am enjoying her community already calling her by name. 

Embrace the Birth Goddess

If you are a woman that is 100% comfortable in your own skin please speak up about it. I am serious.There is something silly that has been polluting the air for a long time.

I am not going to banter down the path of blaming the media, TV or Barbie. Ladies, if we put our heads together we could think of a pretty hefty list of things we would LOVE to change about ourselves. From the strands of our hair to the tips of our toes there seems to be little in the way of corking out ever desire to be something other than what we are right now.

We should also be able to create a longer list of things we appreciate right now, even without any changes. From good eye sight, being able to run a 5k to singing a lullaby to soothe a baby. The list should reach far beyond our self doubts, spread and bloom like wildflowers lifting women up everywhere.

On the way home from yoga yesterday I shared with Eli this poem:

What if there is no need to change?

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What if there is no need to change?
No need to transform yourself
Into someone who is more compassionate, more present, more loving, or wise?
How would this affect all the places in your life where you are endlessly trying to be better, or different?
What if the task is simply to unfold
To become who you are already are in your essential nature -
Gentle, compassionate, and capable of living fully and passionately present?
What if the question is not, Why am I so infrequently the person i really want to be?
But 'why do i so infrequently want to be the person i really am?'
How would this change what you think you have to learn?
What if becoming who and what we truly are happens not through striving and trying
But by recognising and receiving the people and places and practices
That are for us the warmth of encouragement we need to unfold?
How would this shape the choices you make about how to spend today?
What if you know that the impulse to move in a way that creates beauty in the world
Will arise form deep within And guide you every time you simply pay attention
And wait.
How would this shape your stillness, your movement, 
Your willingness to follow this impulse
To just let go
And dance?


Walk The Talk

When push comes to shove was I up for the task? Last week I with excitement gathered a couple cute outfits up, and somehow convinced Eli to go have maternity photos taken. My experience with the artist was limited, I fell in love with the work displayed at my midwife's office so I booked a maternity shoot as well as an infant shoot when baby arrives. I arrived and there they were, three dresses that were going to frame my baby bump and turn me into a maternity goddess. In that space, I thought it was a little liberating. The photographer, Jennifer Wilcox was beyond amazing. I was so proud of my baby bump, the journey I had embarked upon and excited about the memories she was capturing.

Battling The Image
But then it hit me... and I am going to be brutally honest. Before I became pregnant I was deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. You were not going to find a photo of me in a bathing suit anywhere.

This unsettled attitude towards myself came alive after going to Crossfit for over a year. Even after attending five days a week, shaving off 36 pounds, being toned, strong and ready to physically take on just about anything thrown at my way, I wasn't mentally. I broken and sad. However, not just for me. I was in a room of women that really valued their performance, and even after they achieved what I thought I wanted, they quick to make comments about how they didn't like their body. I didn't want that, nor did I want to be around it. I remember being told "Oh, I can't wait for you to loose more weight and then we can go shopping at Lululemon together." *Sigh* I don't need a pair of $100 pants. Speaking my needs may have just been the ticket though, as I don't remember embracing who I was, standing firmly and saying "Thanks, but let's go shopping today as I need some new running shoes and a pair of shorts for next week's 5k".

It was also unsettling to attend family events and be told "how good I looked" after loosing weight. Then the conversation begins of everyone's workout schedules, diets and other desires around becoming someone they weren't right then and there.

Approval to Post

Jennifer sent me an email with this image inside. I was beaming! How glorious capturing such a tender moment. Then I read on, the email was a request to post this image on Facebook. Oh geez. Not only does it show me with my healthy new 19lbs of pregnancy weight, it shows more skin and curves than I was initially comfortable with.

Then it hit me, I needed to walk the talk and appreciate and celebrate who I am right at this moment. So I decided to give Jennifer the OK and embrace being a birth goddess.

Here are the sneak peak photos.

Cheers to embracing the birth goddess. 

Let this be the beginning of chapter known for appreciating, accepting and loving who I am now.

Why I Have Enjoyed Expecting

I have been quick to use the phase "crash course" when referring to the last almost nine months. Being swept into a whirlwind adventure learning about pregnancy, birth and babies is only a tiny piece of the experience.

I am happily in the camp of women that can say without hesitation I have enjoyed being pregnant. Sure, I have sprinted down the hallway to pray to the porcelain gods, and trying every trick in the book to distract from being nauseated. I have even recently been doctoring some rather fussy dislocated ribs that allow me to sit for only a few hours max at a time and have reduced me to little to no ability to comfortably drive. There is no doubt that being pregnant has put me on a physical and mental roller coaster. Sometimes, it is fun other times scary might be the appropriate word. 

What I Love

Skipping the winter blues: Normally, by February I am fed up. Ready to pack up the essentials and move to somewhere with real sunshine, less rain and dedicated poolside time.  This year, I skipped that. Most of the credit goes to Ann for making sure I took sufficient amounts of Vitamin D, had an excellent prenatal vitamin, good nutrition and someone to reach out to when my mind got the best of me. I skipped the blues, and I didn't even mind the grays. 

My Hero: The rest of the credit beyond having amazing prenatal care goes to Eli, he has been my hero. When was the last time you heard of a man that is willing to create three custom meals a day to cater to his pregnant wife? When I tire out and still have an errand list, he drives me where I need to go lets me rest and he takes on the task. Not once did he hesitate to offer up his coat, or let me wear one of his t-shirts to yoga. Even if it meant that my ever growing turnip belly would stretch them out. I have loved being able to let his compliments sink in as without I doubt I know they are genuine. The evenings he isn't being kept at work he closes up his computer, sets his cell phone aside and invests his focus into reading pregnancy, baby and relationship books. Then, for a few moments we both pester my baby belly, enjoying feeling baby bounce, hiccup and rearrange herself. Eli has been a crucial piece in preserving and possibly enhancing my sanity. 

Slowing down: Before I was expecting I found myself a frequent visitor to Seattle. I didn't think twice about adding another shift to my day and headed up after work to meet with other startup folk, network, plan and attend events. I had a full schedule, but meeting with stellar people made it all worth it. However, I was one of those gals who in the beginning had the "all day sickness", not just in the morning but pretty much all day. I also would get waves of energy, and be totally off my game by 7:30PM. I have found an new ability to say "Thanks, but no thanks" and even "No." to those who reach out hoping I will volunteer for this group, or this event or do this thing or whatever. I only take on things I truly love and reserve the rest of my energy for work and home.

Excuse to go to bed early: If I am not in bed by 7:30, I have at least retreated to a horizontal break on the couch, bed or even the floor. Pillows have become my trusted allies as they have given me comfort support throughout this journey. Expecting Mommas, don't leave home without your preggo pillow. 

Having bump friendly clothes: There are a few things in my closet that have survived the non-maternity appropriate purge of 2011. Yet, for those who were donated or passed on they were replaced with a healthy variety of bump friendly attire. I have become a regular visitor to my local Kid to Kid consignment shop, skipping the pricey maternity outfits at other stores makes me feel justified to purchase just about any cute top or preggo jeans I find at fantastic prices. 

Excuse to wear yoga pants all day: Working from home comes with a daily basket of perks. As baby has grown and remodeled her apartment to be rather uncomfortable for me to sit I have cashed in on the perk to wear yoga or even (shhh... don't tell anyone) pajamas all day. When baby starts kicking, I lean back and enjoy my stretchy comfortable pants delighting in the fact I didn't pour myself into some cute jeans that no one is going to see anyways. 

Those are just a couple of the things I have and are continuing to enjoy. On that note I am going to flop onto the couch for some quality time with Eli and wind down. Tomorrow, Eli are I are going to do a meet in greet with a pediatrician recommended by Anne, my midwife. Then Wednesday another midwife appointment, with an update to follow.