Birthdays are about celebration, cake, friendship right? Reflection seems to be a new element that only the secret members of those in a parents club mention.
I have been given a lot of time to think, progress, mash, mold, analyze and catalog the experience of me going from Lyndi to pregnant Lyndi to Lyndi the mom. Whew!
Clara's birthday celebration with the brilliant suggestion of Eli was at a local park, in fact my current favorite place to visit, Lake Wilderness. We rented a little shelter that came with enough space and seating for all those who decided to join us. I made minimal effort beyond taking care of Clara and I to prepare. I didn't cry as I once would have predicted. It felt unnecessary, there wasn't any steam or pressure to let out. I had already done that. I gave it away, and those I trusted to bare the weight were right there with me through the journey.
The day came and went with a few handfuls of photos to treasure.
What I now realize is that Clara's delivery was an event however it was the journey that followed that held the true obstacles.
In these last twelve months I have learned I am the mother to a little person. An individual who loves Starbucks pumpkin bread, snuggling as close as possible just before she goes asleep that asks where Dad is periodically throughout the weekday. She is bright, inquisitive, has a sweet sense of humor an enjoys the comfort of her mom and Dad. Snuggling animals is reasonable whether the creature is 7lbs or 1,200lbs they all need to be given snuggle hugs.
I truly love her. I love that Eli, her Dad loves her. I love how she is loved by her Aunt, her family and our friends. I am learning to be curious about our love. Let her explore and watch her in amazement. I am learning to be brave and take her on adventures. I am learning to let go and be more compassionate, patient and communicate with more clarity.
Happy Birthday to our little Clara.